Nature is Healing

National Lockdown: Day Ten

Today I reached the 100K word mark. One hundred thousand words. In seven days Jaqui Hiltermann wrote more than her PhD thesis and she is smug as fuck. And exhausted, because I’m now allowed to use that banned word because I’ve fucking earned it. And sure the 100K is not exactly quality writing by any stretch of the imagination, BUT it’s been an absolute test of my resolve because I wasn’t allowed to use any swearing… If I was I could have pushed it to 110K. OK 120K easily.

So today I’m marking “Day Ten” by plagiarising a conversation I had on Facebook earlier because there is no ways I can come up with a creative narrative to mark the “halfway” mark. My brain just doesn’t have the stamina to do anything other than have another glass of wine and maybe try to do battle opening the blue cheese- but I don’t think I’ll manage that. And yes we’re on the halfway mark but, Fun Fact: if you think we’re getting out in 21 Days you’re dreaming… seriously I’ll bet a bottle of wine. But whatever helps you sleep at night.

So one of my top humans, Ron (his real name) has been having “issues” with joggers… and I’ll write about privileged joggers in another post, but I thought you might like this particular snapshot… Ron has a way with words (you should buy his book)

“Weird question: Is it hydrochloric acid that breaks down the human corpse to liquid or is it something else? Asking for a friend. Also have some assorted pairs of used jogging shoes for sale. Can deliver only after lockdown.” (Ron Irwin, 2020)

Jaqui: The return of joggers means that the earth is finally healing… Pinelands is healing…

Ron: The return has been partially halted.

Jaqui: Is this because of your canned jogger hunting?

Ron: They’re not “canned”. They are running free in their own environment and have a fair chance at survival. It’s sport. SMFH.

Jaqui: Whatever… I prefer trophy hunting.

Ron: “It puts the takkies in the basket or it gets the hose..”

Jaqui: This is all going in my book.

And mark my words all of this will be embellished in my book because there’s a lot to be said for a story about Pinelands joggers going AWOL during lockdown… but for now I leave you with this.

Stay the Fuck Indoors: so nature can heal or whatever.