Avoid Black Friday Madness By Shopping Online Like Everyone Else.
The logic of avoiding Black Friday Madness by staying in and shopping online speaks volumes about human stupidity.
1. ‘I don’t want to go near malls today because they’ll be overrun by Black Friday Madness! Gross all those people. I hate crowds…’
2. Such people go immediately to online shopping and get annoyed because sites are overrun by Black Friday Madness… ‘THE SHEER AUDACITY’. ‘Why can’t these sites cope?’ ‘Do you know who I am?’ Moan on designated Facebook pages about how disappointed you are that you weren’t given preferential treatment by the Internet.
3. ‘I don’t understand why these websites advertised and now I can’t buy shit I don’t need’. ‘My kids are going to be so disappointed because I couldn’t get them a Hatchimal. You’ve ruined Christmas. You are monsters! How do you sleep at night?!’
4. “Fuck you Black Friday!”… you shout while trying to refresh the Takealot site every 10 seconds in the hope you’ll still be able to buy that Nespresso machine you’ll never use.
5. Attend a dinner party on Black Friday Eve and moan about capitalism while sipping on an unwooded chardonnay… muse about the benefits of socialism and the promise of a slower paced and simpler life.
The irony is not lost on me.
“White Saturday is for people to leisurely push their trolley through Black Friday aftermath, paying full price for their privilege. It was the day Penny Sparrow used to do her shopping before she lost her job.” (My Brother)