Never before has dressing for one’s body type been more relevant. I mean let’s be honest, Lockdown was a fucking disaster for most of us. No gyms, limited exercise potential, 24-hour access to the fridge with zero surveillance from work colleagues (thanks to “camera off”), and ‘I deserve another biscuit there’s a pandemic out there’. …
National Lockdown: Day 76 Six years ago, I broke my rule- ‘don’t read or engage in the comments section’. The shit hit the fan. I was called every name under the sun. My crime? I responded to an article listing the most expensive schools in the country. I said that just because these schools are …
National Lockdown: Day 53 In another dazzling display of what the actual fuckery, it appears your average South African layman/woman isn’t the only person making his/her own homebrew. Minister of Trade and Industry, Ebrahim Patel, seems to have been smashing back the pineapple beer with gay abandon. Patel’s Moonshine is clearly made of stronger stuff …
National Lockdown: Day Five I’m happy to report that the past couple of days have actually gone pretty quickly. It turns out that being busy really is the best way to make the time pass. And sure, I haven’t done any exercise, I haven’t watched the latest season of Ozark, I’ve been limiting my phone …
National Lockdown: Day Four Congratulations everyone we’re on Day Four, we’re on 1280 confirmed cases, and South Africa has recently been downgraded to Junk. I now know how my parents must have felt when they received my Std 5 report card. But if we’re using my delinquency as a metaphor, ‘just look at me now’. …
National Lockdown: Day Three I woke up with a feeling of guilt, brought on by last night’s nutritious dinner of blue cheese and a slab of chocolate. This little piggy had every intention of dusting off her Rosemary Conley DVDs, because a brush with death before breakfast is how I like to roll. I figured, …
National Lockdown: Day Two Ron Moss and I have had another great day together. I’ve been chatting to him quite a lot despite the fact that he really is empty inside. But, I guess he does provide some company, and at this stage I’ll take all the company I can get. And, it seems that …
National Lockdown: Day One I stayed awake past midnight last night, not because I wanted to be awake for the momentus midnight curfew, but because I’m a night owl and I was really enjoying my episode of Money Heist. In any non-event, nothing happened at midnight. When I woke up this morning it was very …
I’m a fly by the seat of my pantalone’s kind of a betty so I was fucking stoked when my trip to Hilton coincided with the breaking news story that the first confirmed case of Covid-19 was in my “home” town. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not wishing the virus on anyone (enemies excluded), …
OK guys, we need to talk. It’s not me, it’s you. Let’s not be friends. It’s no secret I’m a vigilante bullshit police officer on the Internet. I’m 35 years old now, so I’m easing into life as a grumpy woman. I’m totally OK with it. Why just yesterday I posted a “this is a …