I’m a fly by the seat of my pantalone’s kind of a betty so I was fucking stoked when my trip to Hilton coincided with the breaking news story that the first confirmed case of Covid-19 was in my “home” town. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not wishing the virus on anyone (enemies excluded), …
There’s a popular dating metaphor about unicorns. Everyone is in search of these elusive unicorns- the “perfect man” or the “perfect woman” (if we’re working in gender binaries). By my measure, my limited insight into Tinder, everyone thinks they’re a fucking unicorn. The age of digital media and popular folklore has led us to believe …
There’s not even room enough to be anywhere It’s not dark yet, but it’s getting there Well my sense of humanity is going down the drain Behind every beautiful thing, there’s been some kind of pain (Bob Dylan) This has been the unwitting soundtrack to this week… a beautiful coincidence brought upon by the shuffle …
Put on your seat belts folks, and bust out those half time oranges! There’s an old rugby cliché that the two Davids seem to be embracing; ‘Well that was a game of two halves’… And boy oh boy don’t they look like a couple of Naases. Apparently there are psychologists cashing in on all the …
A brief observation involving smoked trout, a woman, and her 3 (4?) year old daughter. Woolies Dean Street really is the gift that keeps on giving. And, now that they’ve revamped they’re really killing it from the perspective of attracting a new class of wanky shoppers. I’m a wanky shopper. I love Woolworths and I …
For today’s lesson (OK, this is technically a repost of something I wrote back in 2017, which I have lovingly re-written) in awkward as fuck advertising I introduce Browns… I refer to Browns as the jewellery shop where you literally take it up the… moving on. It’s no secret I think diamonds are very pointless …
OK guys, we need to talk. It’s not me, it’s you. Let’s not be friends. It’s no secret I’m a vigilante bullshit police officer on the Internet. I’m 35 years old now, so I’m easing into life as a grumpy woman. I’m totally OK with it. Why just yesterday I posted a “this is a …
My mum and I get compared to the Gilmore Girls all the fucking time. I resisted watching the series for a long time, shrugging off the comparison while adopting my natural state of sardonic and opinionated. But then I had to watch it in order to have an opinion, to see whether we were actually …
More shit I heard in the queue at the Kirstenbosch summer concert. While Monkey was spreading his smoked snoek mousse on his rye bread with a plastic teaspoon, I was sipping away on my crisp wine. Crisp wine was crisp because of my fancy wine wand which looks disturbingly like a sex toy. A sex …
There is literally no one who loves a Kirstenbosch summer concert more than me… Except maybe every single Woolies branch manager in the greater Cape Town area. And every dressed by Cape Union Mart Capetonian. That fucking amphitheatre is like a sugar free, dairy free, gluten free, lactose free, ice cream truck. White okes flock …