Sam-Sam and Eco Daddy go shopping
The curtain opens and I’m standing in the queue with my trolley filled with wine… mostly. Next thing I hear this…
Sam-Sam: ‘Daddy daddy I want Kale Chips…’
EcoDad: ‘Sure my little man…’
I’m like Geez dad those things cost nearly 30 bucks… I was expecting an argument about how he can have some polony and Melrose when he gets home…
“The supermarket queue gauntlet just got a whole lot healthier and more expensive.”
Sam-Sam grabs the chili flavour…
EcoDad: ‘Careful Sam-Sam those might be hot…’
Sam-Sam grabs the bag with his chubby little ham fists and starts snacking. I look over to observe what the fuck a kale chip looks like… it’s green and crumbly as fuck.
Sam-Sam munches and green kale coloured confetti rains down on the tiles of the “gauntlet”… Sam-Sam is munching furiously… grinning and scoffing…
EcoDad: ‘Are those delicious Sam-Sam?’
Sam-Sam nods while scoffing and spitting out bits of green eco dust. He points to his mouth and splutters ‘Hot’…
EcoDad doesn’t skip a beat with his good humour and khaki cords, emitting a belly laugh while “mussing up” Sam-Sam’s charming auburn curls.
Sam-Sam: ‘Daddy Daddy I want coconut water!’
I’m like Jesus EcoDad reign this shit in that’s like 50 bucks worth of beverage?!
EcoDad: ‘Of course my Sam-Sam’
EcoDad leans his slim vegan bod into the fridge and withdraws a 50 buck beverage of health quackery and hands it into Sam-Sams sweaty kale encrusted paws… Sam-Sam drinks with delight and sighs… Satisfied…
Running the eco gauntlet at Woolies over 70 bucks, securing the love of your auburn curly haired-little man while teaching other parents a lesson in healthy nutritious sanctimonious eating. PRICELESS.
What I learnt: the old sugar rush gauntlet saved a shit ton of money… Coca Cola and Chomps aren’t gonna break the fucking bank. Well Done Woolworths… Well done.
The curtain closes.