I wrote this piece sporadically throughout last week, and didn’t have much time to edit it, or to engage with it. In between finding last minute quotes for an extra stretch tent, making decisions about generators, doing some painting, chasing up on vendors, helping to put a gallery space together, and remembering to buy toothpaste …
‘Wake up Jaqui; it’s time to go to the Royal Show!’ On this occasion, it was 3 am, I was in Room 36 at the Hilton Hotel, and my brother Nicholas thought it would be bloody hilarious to wake me up from my slumber to enjoy a few seconds of euphoria, before realising it was …
The right stories come at just the right time. They’re like Gandalf that way. Just before every septic tank in the Msunduzi Municipality hit the fan, I sat down to watch Three Billboards Outside Ebbing, Missouri. The film had a mixed response in the US, and I’m not here to defend my position on its …
Never before has dressing for one’s body type been more relevant. I mean let’s be honest, Lockdown was a fucking disaster for most of us. No gyms, limited exercise potential, 24-hour access to the fridge with zero surveillance from work colleagues (thanks to “camera off”), and ‘I deserve another biscuit there’s a pandemic out there’. …
National Lockdown Day: 272 There are many television shows, particularly of the BBC ilk, about abandoning the “rat race”, and living a more simple and wholesome life. Why not Escape to the Country (2002-present), where you sell your London studio and embark on a new life in Dorset, surrounded by lush greenery and mooing? Or …
National Lockdown: Day 76 Six years ago, I broke my rule- ‘don’t read or engage in the comments section’. The shit hit the fan. I was called every name under the sun. My crime? I responded to an article listing the most expensive schools in the country. I said that just because these schools are …
National Lockdown: Day 67 (Day One of Level Three) Growing up in South Africa in the nineties, there were a few things that every single child had in common. Everyone wanted a strange man dressed in a Simba costume to come into their classroom, yell “surprise”, and give away free bags of chips. I am …
National Lockdown: Day 53 In another dazzling display of what the actual fuckery, it appears your average South African layman/woman isn’t the only person making his/her own homebrew. Minister of Trade and Industry, Ebrahim Patel, seems to have been smashing back the pineapple beer with gay abandon. Patel’s Moonshine is clearly made of stronger stuff …
National Lockdown: Day 29 According to Elisabeth Kubler-Ross, there are five stages of grief- Denial, Anger, Bargaining, Depression and Acceptance. In South Africa there are currently eight stages of loadshedding, seven deadly sins (which Bheki Cele seems to be reading off), and now five stages of lockdown. South Africans are going to need a helluva …
National Lockdown: Day 18 There’s an old Nesquik advert where you could blame shit on the bunny… it seems appropriate that I pull out my “blame it on the bunny card” for my writing hiatus. It’s been a very strange past few days. I haven’t felt like writing, I’ve been in a bit of a …